Am I Doing it Right?

As I mentioned two weeks ago, I have started doing an online Bible study.  I was terrified to make my initial post about it – terrified that I would be mocked and ridiculed, and fearful that people would think less of me because I wanted to learn about God.  What I found was just the opposite:  encouragement.  Reassurance.  Camaraderie.

While that bolstered my confidence, I’m still struggling.  I’m so new at this that I just don’t know if I’m “doing it right.”  We’ve been reading about Peter.  Each week we address a certain passage or two, and we journal about certain questions posed in our study guide.  For me this means that every morning I get up early, sip my coffee, read the assigned passage, nibble on a pastry, ponder the questions, and fill my journal with commentary.

And I feel like such a fraud.

People spend their whole lives studying the Bible.  They find meaning in each word, each nuance.  And here I am, stumbling through every sentence and consulting online resources to see if I’m “doing it right.”  I like to think I am, or at least if I’m not, my online Bible group hasn’t outed me as a total Bibilical sophomore yet.  (I think they’re too nice to do that, anyway).

So let’s just say I’m not at all confident in this whole Bible study thing yet.  Is that a good thing?  I think it certainly gives me a healthy dose of humility when I approach my studies.  But it also makes me question whether one can really learn, really know, after a lifetime of not knowing the Bible and not knowing God.  I guess that’s a question that I’m going to have to answer over time.

And all I can do is try.